Wednesday, 08 July 2009

  • I think I might be undergoing depression

    I lost all interest in anything that I use to have interest in. I seem to be demotivated at anything I do. I can't seem to find happiness in living, in all aspects of living. I haven't gone home in ages. I feel extremely lethargic.

    Food doesn't appeal much to me. Camwhoring doesn't appeal much to me. I haven't blog in the longest time. Hack! I haven't really been online! Facebook is just a place to park myself as a concious effort that I'm not that lost. Housework is piling up. I'm not even following my Gilmore Girls or One Tree Hill (following series is my most addictive past time after surfing the internet)

    I hate living alone.
    3 months....

Tuesday, 09 June 2009

  • an example of optimism

    1. I'll be emotionally stronger aka no more (or should I say less) emotionally dependent

    2. I get to loose weight without forcing myself on a diet

    3. More time to focus on other things like work and friends

    4. More time to do housework, read a book (ha ha!), catch up on tv series and bla bla bla..

    but it doesn't change the fact of how I feel

    I gave PaPa Bear your tee so I can hug you to sleep  =)

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Sunday, 17 May 2009

  • the unexplainable

    dub dub dub di dum di di di dumm...

    i love seeing my boyfriend at work. the amount of concentration he puts in and the (very rare) times he looks up to me and give me that cheeky wink. The dedication he puts into his artwork. He is very much still young at heart, so am I. Our different worlds is not going to stop me from loving him more.

    ...di di dum duum... di dum di dum

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

  • blogging is a chore

    I lost the passion to blog. It has become the once in a blue updates or just some random thoughts. For years now I have been rather careful of what I write here cause I know how public this site is. (Welcome boss!  ) The ten thousand times I contemplated having a new blog site, but after a while, I lost the mood to pursue it and it has just remain as a dust at the back of my mind.

    There really isn't much to update here. My life is pretty mundane. Wake up, go to work, go home, sleep. I just got my hands on Season 1 & 2 of Gilmore Girls! So I guess I'll be watching one episode a night, hopefully I be a good girl and not watch more than that. he he..

    Actually I had some on and off inspiration to blog about something but somehow the mood left me when I sit in front of the computer.

    Pris just celebrated her 21st birthday recently. Its quite scary cause it means I am not young anymore. (Next year it is Lynne's turn!) Time does really fly pass when I entered the working world. I've already started to loose track on when I graduated from INTI. I won't deny that part of me is eager to move on to the next phase in life, but no I am not crazy enough to jump into anything that comes by.

    On a separate topic, I just attempted purchasing items from LovingMinerals. =D That is how mundane my life is that I have resorted to online shopping.

    I'm craving for a summer vacation... 

Saturday, 02 May 2009

  • Birthday People

    Shanti's

    Last weekend Nikki organize an awesome surprise party for Shanti @ DAJ.













    Victor's

    A special day for my special someone.

    Sorry dear, I was too busy with work and being sick. Hope you still love it all! *hugs & kisses*




     


    *aiks* too many birthdays in such a close time!!

    I would also like to specially wish CASEY CHONG HO SHEAS a HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!! *hugs* Sorry dear, can't celebrate with you this year. Hope you still had an awesome time without me by your side hehe...

  • Congratulations!

    Congrats to Joanne & William!








    I bought this dress when I was 16 years old... kept it for years in hope that one day I could fit into it again... and now I can! ;)

Friday, 01 May 2009

  • Pris' Big Day!

    This is a response reply to Jackal's entry

    An awesome night for an awesome girl.

    Can't believe she is turning 21...


    The cake was awesome! Thanks Marv!

    The group...

    Somehow I nearly always end up cutting cake...

    As I predicted.. the clown of the night...






    Dear Pris,
    We've been through a lot through out the years! Some of the hardship which we can only share with one another. ;) You've been very dear to me and you from now till many years more to go... hopefully forever!

    Love you babe! Blessed 21!

    P/S: Stop fighting for the bill please. *BlEuKkkK*

    Clause: I was actually too lazy to blog any of the current affairs... but this Jackal beat me to this, so I had to react! Ha HA 

Sunday, 19 April 2009

  • preparing for the worst

    I woke up this morning with a great deal of disappointment. The gastric which I unconsciously allowed to make my tummy its home has decided to make its presence known again. The burden in my heart seems to be growing stronger. Why do I let this happen to me?

    In the last few years I found a way to make the pain go away... at least out of the heart. I feel in love with body art. Because it was the most logical physical pain that I can put on myself without being seem like suicidal or and idiot.

    This time round, I don't know what else to pierce and I can't get the tattoo, since I haven't found the design yet.

    So this time it will be different. I have to pick myself up the hard way. Numb the heart. Fix the smile. Focus on importance. Stop the tears. Trust my heart. 

    Your time is running out...

    Everyone puts a smile on their face, but we never really know who is bleeding inside

Sunday, 12 April 2009

  • Its not about the bunny or the egg...

    Easter is a day Christians hold sacred because its the day Jesus rose from the dead, 3 days after being crucified on the cross. so we rejoice that He is alive!

    Christians around the world take this opportunity to hold special services & presentation to share the message of Jesus. Some take this opportunity to share the works of God in our life. The unexplainable miracles. The life base on faith. We praise & worship the maker of all things, the Creator. Because we believe that God so loved the world, and He gave His only son to die for us, so that whoever would believe in Him, will have eternal life.

    My Christian knowledge is limited, all though I was brought up in Sunday School and have been surrounded by Christian friends most of my life. I can barely quote more than 5 bible verses. Only read through the bible once when I was in high school for a program at church, and that itself i skimmed and cheated my way through. I don't say grace before I eat. I barely go to church. I don't do daily devotion (pray & read your bible everyday) I try my best to make it for cell every week. I don't live a Christian-like life, some would say I am just Christian by name... nominal Christian?

    Why then, through out all this, do I still believe that God is the one true God? If you have felt His presence once in your life, you'd know that there is something so real and something you have never felt anywhere else. Captivated at His timing to intervene in our life. Awed by His mercy and grace upon us. At the point that no matter what you are going through, you literally feel your burden lifted and peace fill your soul.

    Most people find it hard to believe that something so mighty can be so giving. That He would forgive us as long as we ask... with a real heart. That His love is unending.

    Yet through out all this, I felt in my heart God never left me. Through out the years when I felt further from Him and away from His people, He never abandon me. Despite all this, the devil still thinks I am a threat to him. Funny. Then why am I not being more than a Christian than I am? I don't think I am worthy of His goodness, I know my heart is not right and I don't want to be a hypocrite. I have been so far within the last few years that being back in His presence feels weird. Sometimes I think that being far made me see that perhaps being a strong Christian doesn't really mean anything if your heart & life is not right, that is when we call it hypocrisy.

    We believe that a sin is a sin. No matter how big, no matter how small. God's mercy is limitless. That is why Jesus said to the people who was going to stone the prostitute... Let whoever who has not sin cast the first stone.

    I'm not saying that the rest of the Christians are hypocrites. There are those and a lot that I know, they try to live the life set before them. Its hard to be a Christian and live in the world today. One slight thing you do may lead to the people around judging you and questioning your stand. Nobody is perfect, we all sin. Its how much you try not to sin.

    I'm not here to preach that I am sin-less, but we try to sin less. I'm not here to lay down my life for you to judge me. I am far from perfect, and far from a Christian-like life. I'm not proud to proclaim that I am a Christian because I know my life do not portray one.

    Christianity is not just a religion. Its a relationship with God. Its a life that we choose. When you take that step to believe, it doesn't end there. When you discover your purpose of living... When you felt the amazing touch of God...  Something will change in your life forever...

    Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost, but now I am found, was blind but now I see, 'Twas grace that thought my heart to feel, and grace my fears release, how precious did that grace appear, The hour I first believed, my chains are gone, I've been set free, My God, My Saviour has ransomed me, and like a flood His mercy rains, unending love, Amazing Grace.
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    • Name: Winne
    • Country: Malaysia
    • Birthday: 12/30/1983
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 11/3/2003

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